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Bunch Of Stiffs

April 19, 2009 by Theboinger 

Nick Swisher Is The Jack Black Of Baseball

Nick Swisher Is The Jack Black Of Baseball

The New York Yankees are in unfamiliar territory. Their own home field. Mystique and Aura no longer appearing nightly. Usually played at 161st and River the World Series will surely not be held in the Bronx this year. The Yankees just plain suck. From top to bottom they are a disaster of a team with less identity then the New York Jets. Now that is hard to do.

Nick Swisher has become a folk hero overnight. He is more of a “true yankee” than Giambi Mussina and A-Rod combined and he has been in the Bronx for 3 days. And he is doing it while the team is struggling to even get out of its own way.

Joe Girardi is not managing this team like the guy who won manager of the year in 2006. Where is the Billy Martin in him that we all heard about? You can see in his press conferences and hear it in his voice. He is not himself. You cannot manage like that and win at the major league level. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN JOE! Step on some toes and get the zoo going man. Tell Hal and Hank to go build some ships and leave the team decisions to you. MANAGE HOW YOU WANNA MANAGE!

Joba: Give it up, you are not a starter. You have the make up of a closer. A big guy with a mean attitude that can crank it up for an inning or two and be untouchable 3 or 4 times a week. Take your place behind Mo while he keeps the seat warm for you. The transition will be seamless… like your fastball after the 3rd inning.

Derek Jeter: Just admit you do not belong in the leadoff spot and you should probably be batting closer to the bottom if not last itself. Joe DiMaggio walked away at your age instead of holding on or taking a lesser role. And those were just whispers. What you are hearing is a LOUD ROAR! You have a caddie now? WOW! That in itself speaks volumes.

Jorge Posada: Give it up man. Molina is a great defensive catcher. You have nothing to prove. You could not throw guys out before you got hurt. Not one person expects you to throw anyone out now or cares if you do. just except the role of DH and back up firstbaseman/catcher and we can move on.

Johnny Damon: Feelin the love now Johnny?

Brett Gardner: Can you have a bigger hole that lefty loop? Shorten up the bat, choke up and be a hitter and get on base. Come on man didn’t you see Major League?

Melky Cabrera: You had to know last year you were competing for your job. You are not a centerfielder. But an outfielder nonetheless. They went out and got Nady and Swisher gave your job to Gardner and offered you in at least two trades. You think you could lose a pound?

A-Rod: take your time

I could go on but it’s not worth it. If you grew up in the late 70’s and suffered through the 80’s like I did watching this team you know that this team is far from greatness. World Series? Yeah right. They wont even make the playoffs. Yes it’s April and I said it.

Prove me wrong!

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