This weeks top ten is focused on the holidays; we here at Sportsroids put together the top ten things that NFL Players are thankful for. Enjoy.
1) They are thankful for Pacman Jones for taking all the attention off of them so they are free to get high without having the NFL on their back
2) They are thankful for guaranteed money on contracts so that way even if they never play a down and get cut they can still get paid.
3) Thankful for team sponsorships because even though they make millions of dollars there is nothing like getting everything for free anyway.
4) Thankful for the fact that when the entire teams sucks no matter how bad they are personally the coaches are the ones to get fired.
5) They are also thankful for the fact that they make more money the people who are in charge of them (buck the establishment)
6) Of course they are thankful for helmets that way nobody really recognizes their face so when scrubs and back-ups go out at night all they have to say is “I play professional football” and the females are none the wiser on whether they are the all-star that ran for 200 yards last week, or the guy who got signed off waivers on a 1 week contract because the other full time bum got put on the IR list.
7) Their thankful that there is no such thing as a thanksgiving diet in the NFL and they get to eat whatever they want at this time of year.
Their thankful for the playoffs because if rankings were deiced by a computer anybody with both the Lions and the Bengals on their schedule would automatically be out of the running.
9) NFL Players are thankful for their superior athletic ability because when a 5’0ft tall man who weighs 300lbs and can barley walk up the steps without reaching for an oxygen mask; calls into a radio station or writes a blog about how much they suck, it is easy for them to shrug it off.
10) And once again NFL Players are thankful for their money, money, money, money……. (in high pitched tone) money.
Weekly top 10
This weeks top 10 is the top 10 NFL teammates that you would not want to run into in an alley. We all know the NFL has some scary guys out their but certain teams have two guys that you just do not want to run into here is my top ten list .
Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs:
You do not want to run into these guys in an alley, or in your house, or at a party hell you don’t want to bump into one of these guys at Disney World, who knows what they would do to you if drop some Mickey Mouse ice cream on one of their shoes.
2.Brandon Jacobs, Justin tuck:
These dudes are huge rumor has it that Justin tuck can rip a mans heart out with his bare hands and give it to Brandon Jacobs who will then take it and run over your entire family on his way to spike your heart in the middle of the endzone at Giants Stadium.
3.Brian Urlacher, Tommie Harris:
Brain Urlacer may have been a chump before he started using swagger, but now he is defiantly not a person you want to run into in an alley, hell the guy looks like he should be in Universal soldier, and Tommie Harris is closest thing to the real life Debo I have ever seen god forbid you run it him and your name is Craig.
4.Takeo Spikes, Patrick Willis:
Takeo Spikes just looks like he wants to murder you, and Patick Willis looks like he wants to help.
5.Pat William, E.J. Henderson:
E.J. Henderson looks pissed of at the world and if you are a part of the world well….That means he is mad at you to, Pat Williams eats babies…..of elephants, so you would just be a snack to him, but unluckily for you he is always snacking.
6.James Harrison, Aaron smith:
James Harrison and Aaron Smith look like they are straight out of a prison movie, if you run into these guys in an alley you are going to need more than a Shawshank Redemption.
7. Joey Porter, Randy Starks:
Joey Porter was the first (you don’t want to see me in an alley) guy, and rightfully so; because you don’t see Joey Porter in a alley. If you are in a alley and Joey Porter is at the same time you just cease to exist. Hell Randy really doesn’t even need to be on this list because of that.
8.Adam Jones, Tank Williams:
I would put these guys higher on the list but there is only so much that they can do to you in alley because the FEDS are probably watching them.
9.A.J. Hawk, Nick Barnett:
Well we have all seen Ninja turtles right? Remember Tokka and Rahzar, yeah? Well after that movie they apparently became linebackers for the Green Bay Packers, I mean these two guys are beast, if you bump into them you better make sure that you have some num nums.
10. John Henderson, Mike Peterson:
John Henderson is 6’7 and weighs over 300 pounds odds are if you ran into him in a alley Mike Peterson would be sitting on his shoulder talking trash while Henderson slaps you in the mouth just to get hype for a game.